my body.

I hate it. I hate my body. Every single inch of it ... there is NOTHING on my body that I like ... it sucks when I'm really in the mood for some loving ... and the boyfriend can't really do much to give it to me cause well ... he's bored of sex ... he's bored of the action of sex but he loves me and isn't bored of me ... I admit, the first time he told me that, I was crushed. My heart broke. It dropped. I had no more feelings for this guy that just told me he was bored of sex. It took me a while to understand ... he loves me ... but the action of sex bores him ... I guess because he's practically done everything already ... I just miss the feeling of someone touching me for the first time, so they're exploring my body ... he doesn't explore my body any more ... or at least I don't think he does ... all he really does is just fork me until I get off and then it's done ... gah. I despise being in a relationship with meaningless sex. I want hot, sexy, passionate, love-making sex ... it doesn't feel the same when both people are feeling two different things during intercourse ... it's just not the same. Making love and having sex are two completely different things ... I miss making love. I miss the passion ... I miss all of it ...

I want to go to a swingers party. We've done something similar to it before ... but I want to go to an actual party. I want someone to be curious about my body and just explore. I want someone to treat my body like it's worth something ... I want someone to just ... appreciate my body ...

I just want to be appreciated. That's all.